A Wise Man Once Said
by Mistress Slytherin
Summary: Ten years after the war Harry is still picking up the pieces, but are some things too broken to be fixed? Rumors of a new dark lord fly about, will Harry be able to fight off this rising threat?
1. Chapter 1

**All right, so this story was written on a whim, it isn't excessively long nor is it too short.**

**Cause and effect people- I get good reviews = my feeling the urge to write more**

**Blatant bribery? Yup.**

**Thank you to all those who reviewed Arbutus!**

**WARNINGS**

**this is a tragedy expect tears**

**this story involves major character deaths**

**homosexual relationships**

**religious beliefs belong to the characters**

**my spelling is not perfect please deal with it**

**Mistress Sltyehrin**

-1-

Harry worked his reports with confident deliberation his writing tidy and slanted the ink slightly thicker in his lettering than the delicate barely-there curls and lines that the other pompous politicians preferred. His desk was neat, clean and organized a far cry from what one might expect it to be considering how much paperwork crossed its surface on a daily basis. The satisfied scratch of his quill, the tick of his clock and the slight rustle of papers come from the far wall where several trays were lined up catching paper airplanes which folded and smoothed out as they slipped through the small slot in the wall. The office was quiet this many years into his position as head Auror, oh he knew it wouldn't stay that way, he wasn't fool enough to pretend that newer darker shadows weren't hiding on the horizon. As had become his habit the moment war crossed his mind his eyes glanced towards the side of his desk where a single picture frame sat the entirety of his family as they had been five years ago.

Before Ron had sacrificed his life for Harry on a mission, before George had lost the last of the twinkle in his eyes and forgot what it meant to laugh. Before Fleur and Molly had had their final fallout at the funeral and Fleur had taken her children and fled back to France, before Hermione had forgotten how to smile. Yes things had certainly changed, but they were still the reason he fought. Through the heart ache and the hurt, through the loss and tears- they were all he had in this world, they were his pain, and they were his laughter and joy. Family was everything.

Which was why he hated himself at the moment.

As if on cue there were shouts outside his office and Harry set aside his quill and paperwork just as the door to his office crashed open destroying the silence he'd been enjoying. Panting and pale faced Draco Malfoy stared at him as though he was a completely different person from the man he'd become friends with over the years. Harry nearly broke as he stared at the person that he'd healed with when Ron was gone, the person that had helped him come to grips with his sexuality, the person that had healed what Ginny had broken in her wrath. How many long drunken nights had they shared together? Draco's face became stony and set as though understanding his thoughts completely before his hand gripped the door and slammed it shut.

"Explain." He said as he strode across the small office and sat stiffly in the chair across from him. "Explain to me why my father was arrested this morning." He said coldly his gaze level even as Harry's eyes fell shut.

"I hate that I'm the one to tell you." Harry said his voice raw. "But it can't be anyone else." He admitted shaking his head slowly before reaching into his desk and pulling out a file. "The information is classified for now Draco, what I tell you can't be spoken of outside of this office do you understand?" Draco was ashen now his anger failing him at the seriousness of the situation.

"He's done nothing wrong…he swore to me that he wouldn't! He's been clean; he quit politics- Harry you _promised!_" He hissed. A surge of anger sparked in Harry before he could help it.

"Yeah well maybe I shouldn't have!" He snapped. "I knew it would happen again, people like your father rarely truly quit playing their games no matter how hard they try!" He bit back a hiss as he struggled to control his temper. With a sigh he set the file on the desk and sent a quick locking charm at the door. "Read." He said his voice strangled. Draco was furious his expression locked and tight as he reached over and flipped the cover open, a flicker of something light fright haunting his eyes as they caught sight of the photos. His skin became gray as he read on and his tense shoulders sagged.

"Another Dark Lord?" He said weakly.

"You didn't notice?" Harry said tiredly. "People disappearing without rhyme or reason? Massive terror attacks against Muggles? Come on Dray I know you suspected something." Harry said with a glare.

"There's _always_ another Dark Lord Harry! Maybe not the one we fought but there's always someone that's trying to cause havoc! But for the past ten years we've all been safe because _you _are head Auror! Of course I ignored the rumors! My father hasn't joined any of the other idiot Lords he learned that lesson the hard way remember?!" Draco said through grit eyes. Harry could see the hurt there, the torn look in his eyes.

"Either I'm lying or your father is Draco, choose." Harry said grimly. "The facts are there and I tried every possible avenue to ignore them or hide them but it can't be put off any longer." Harry said firmly. He had, for Draco's sake, for Narcissa's sake he'd used every bit of considerable power to keep Lord Malfoy's involvement hidden from the public eye.

"But _why_?!" Draco said jumping to his feet. "V-Voldemort nearly destroyed our family! Generations of work that put us where we are now, _centuries_ of dreams were nearly destroyed because of our involvement with the Dark Lord! There have been _six_ different Dark Lords that have risen and fallen since then, so why now? Why this one?!" He said shaking his head frantically his gaze lost. "You've defeated all the others, fuck you're moniker has changed to Head Auror Harry Potter Destroyer of Dark Lords! Surely he knows that you'll destroy this one too! Surely-!" Draco's voice cut off and a sickening feeling filled the pit of his stomach as he watched Draco's world crumble around him. "He thinks that you won't be able to defeat this one." He said falling back into his seat. Harry grit his teeth.

"We aren't dealing with petty lords with too much pride and too many daddy problems this time Draco. This one…" Harry shook his head slowly. "We're dealing with something terrible Draco, I can feel it in my gut. This guy isn't your average dark lord I've never dealt with anything like him, even Voldemort." He admitted with a wince. Draco gave an involuntary shiver.

"Hart, you're scaring me." Draco said suddenly sounding small like a child rather than the proud Malfoy heir he'd grown up to be. Harry glanced back at the photo on his desk and felt the darkness creep into his mind again.

"You have reason to be frightened Dray." He said nearly choking on the words as they escaped him. Draco was silent for a long time simply staring at Harry with a look of complete and utter loss.

"I can't let you destroy father." Draco said eventually his expression torn.

"I don't have a choice." Harry said brokenly.

"I'll send him to France, I'll bind him with an oath Harry-"

"I CAN'T!" Harry roared brokenly. "Draco this monster is stronger than anything I've ever faced and your father is a direct link to him! There's no way I'd be able to interrogate him the normal way he's been immune to Veritaserum since the first war when Snape made the mistake of teaching him how to make it! The Unspeakables have given me permission to use-"

"I'll give you Severus."

"-any means-" Harry's voice cut off sharply his eyes wide his mouth gaping.

"W-" He couldn't even speak his words choked up at the very sound of the name. Draco's eyes fell shut

"He isn't dead Harry." He said gripping the armrests of his seat. Harry felt his heart thud to a halt in his chest tears which he'd thought had dried up long ago gathering in his eyes.

"Don't be cruel Dray." He whispered. Only Draco knew the depth of Harry's loss over the man who had died to save their lives so many years ago.

"He's alive." Draco all but whispered.

"Stop it." Harry begged. Grey eyes opened slowly.

"Father retrieved him from the shrieking shack, saved his life-"

"STOP!" Harry cried out his entire being seizing up but Draco's gaze was hard and cold as it stared at him for the first time lips pressed into a thin line. Silence rang loudly after his cry and Harry shook as tears poured from his eyes. Draco….Draco wasn't lying.

"I'll give him to you if you give father to me." Draco said with a note of finality in his voice that cracked something inside of Harry.

"You-" His voice cut off as the betrayal rang true inside him. "You stood with me at his funeral, you met me at his grave every year, you-you held me when I cried you knew _exactly_ how much his death destroyed me!" He sobbed. "Every year, every fucking year I struggled to keep my mind in tact, to keep from giving up on everything-"

"You married Ginny Weasley for fucks sake Harry!" Draco said brokenly. "I thought you would move on, I thought you would get over him but you didn't, you never did! For three fucking years I thought you had gotten over him but instead he only broke you more!"

"I couldn't love her the way she wanted me to-"

"I _know_! I know Harry!" Draco said tears dripping down his face. "Snape deserved his peace, he's not- he's not the same as the man you knew, and I truly thought at first that you were the last person I should ever tell. I thought about telling you, I knew that it wouldn't work with Weasley, I knew that you were chasing a dream but I still hoped for your sake that you would move on! I convinced myself it was none of my business, but then in the end…in the end…"

"In the end you didn't tell me because you wanted me for you." Harry finished quietly. "And even when you understood that I would never play second fiddle to your precious pure blood wife, even when you understood that I would never be yours you didn't tell me." He said feeling hallow.

"You would have gone to him the moment I told you he existed." Draco said painfully. "Nothing could have kept you away from him, not even me and you would be lost to me forever even if he never gave you the time of day." Draco said shaking his head. "It would break you, to see him after so long and know he's within arms reach but to also know that he loved your mother, loved a _woman_." Draco whispered.

"You don't know for sure!" Harry said desperately. "You said you had your doubts, you said he might have loved Lucius-"

"I was trying to comfort you!" Draco said standing from his seat. "For fucks sake Harry he fought a _war_ for her!" Draco growled. Harry felt as though the air had been sucked clean from his lungs. "I was trying to protect you, I was trying to protect _him_ Harry he's finally _happy_! He's at peace with himself!" Draco said shaking his head. Harry felt his body shaking where he sat felt panic rise and swell, felt the need to see the man, a flash of pale skin, dark furious eyes, that one glimpse of passion-

"Where is he?" He said weakly.

"Give me my father." Draco said firmly. Harry hesitated.

"Draco this Dark Lord is no joke, he's brilliant, and your father's mind could hold information that could save the lives of _thousands_." Harry said softly. Draco's eyes were hard.

"Give him to me." He said his resolution firm.

"Draco look at the pictures! If I let your father go there could be a hundred more like them!" He said frantically.

"Or there won't be and my father won't know anything of importance and you would have driven him to madness for nothing." Draco said his voice clipped. "Come on Potter you know as well as I do that you won't get this information out of me otherwise, interrogate my father and I will carry Uncle Sev's location to the grave with me." Draco threatened coldly. Harry's eyes pulled away from Draco's resolute gaze, his heart pounded in his chest and threatened to choke him as he stared at the file, stared at the neat stack of pictures. His gaze by habit flickered to the photograph on the corner of his desk.

His heart sank to the very pit of his gut.

"No." He choked his voice twisted with determination and desolation. "Even for him…no. I'm sorry Draco, but I can't do it." He said shaking his head as his breathing slowly returned to normal now that his resolution was made. Draco looked stunned.

"But its Snape Harry! The one you had so much to say to but never got the chance? The one that you and Ginny divorced over? You've taken lovers that look like him Harry! You can't get him out of your mind! You dream about him for Merlins sake! I know where he is! I can tell you!" Harry felt his heart burn but his eyes remained dry and his resolve was firm.

"No." He repeated solidly.

"Why?" Draco breathed. "This is the one thing that could tempt you I would know! You would sell your soul to know where Snape was right now but you won't- why?!" He cried out slamming his fists on Harry's desk.

"Because." Harry said his heart squeezing. "Because he wouldn't want me to." He breathed tears coming to his eyes. "When I decided to be an Auror, I wanted nothing more than to be like the father I've never known but I was an idiot and Snape's memory taught me that. He was the one man that never compromised, even if it meant his own life. Snape…Snape made me want to be the kind of man that he could respect, not even Dumbledore could do that to me." He lifted the photograph and handed it to Draco. "Take a look Dray, look at my family, they are all I've ever wanted but I would have never known it if I had died during the war. I would have died an orphan a forgotten martyr. Instead I'm here, alive, a name that will go down in history and Snape gave up his life for that man, and I would be spitting on his sacrifice if I gave that up now." Harry said shaking his head. "Because of him I have loved and lost, laughed and cried, I've grown up and become a leader and saved the world- because of him. I can not turn my back on the worlds darkest hour for my own selfish wishes," His breath caught in his throat. "-even if it shatters me." He added feeling slight fear for what was to come. Draco was silent for a very long time. He simply sat across from him staring at him with eyes that he couldn't hope to read. Then, without a word Draco stood and strode out of his office leaving Harry feeling hallow and on the edge of madness, but he did not fall, he could not fall even now.

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	2. Chapter 2

**Just a quick note, I gauge how well my story is liked by how many reviews I get. For a story like this one that I kind of wrote on the side, if I don't receive a good amount of feedback I will end the series after the last chapter and continue to works that I feel my readers will enjoy better. So my point, even if it's just to say hello let me know if you enjoyed it if not stay silent and I will cease this story after the last chapter.**

**Thank you!**

**Mistress Slytherin**

-2-

Harry gazed at Lucius Malfoy calmly. This was it; he was going to do this. Gray eyes showed a glimmer of fear for the very first time since Voldemort died as they stared up at him. "Potter." The man said his voice steady though his eyes were not. Lucius Malfoy looked the same as he had ten years ago, being a wizard had that effect he supposed but it still unnerved him to know that Lucius Malfoy still looked as imposing as he had in Harry's second year. Gray eyes surveyed him grimly and Harry knew that the man was thinking the opposite- how much must he seemed to have changed since the mere glimpse the man had seen of him during Voldemort's downfall? He was taller now, an even six feet, and broader too though most of it was tightly packed wiry muscle that he hid under his deceptively lithe form. The glasses were gone, a hazard on the field that he'd rid himself of nearly a year into his training- muggle surgery had left him with perfect eyesight. His face had sharpened, not at all the rugged square angles of his father though, more the refined grace of his mother his hair which he'd found easier to tame if long was different too, a single braid that stopped just between his shoulder blades. He could see what Malfoy saw if he thought about it- he was a Lord now, the Potter Lord, most influential body in the ministry and the savior head Auror defender of justice. Malfoy…Malfoy was a has-been, and not even a very good one either.

"Do you know what is going to happen to you today if you do not tell me everything you know?" Harry said calmly. Malfoy's lips were drawn into a thin line.

"I don't know what you're talking about Potter." He said coolly. Harry nodded in acceptance.

"I spoke to Draco." Harry said leaning against the table, he had all day for this after all. Malfoy's eyes sharpened.

"No doubt you did more than talking." He said with a sly smirk. Harry blinked at him in surprise, he'd thought that Lucius was blind to his son's 'adventures' but apparently not.

"No, we simply talked." Harry said wryly. "I had to tell him why he was about to lose his father after all." Harry said letting his eyes fall shut. Malfoy was silent for a long moment.

"He made you an offer." He said at last an edge of true fear creeping into his voice. "And you refused." He added. Harry nodded. "Perhaps I could make you a better one?" He offered after a moment. Harry cracked his eyes open.

"I'm listening," Harry said even though he wasn't. He was hoping that Malfoy would crack given enough pressure but it would be slow going, the man wasn't a fool.

"What do you want?" Malfoy said leaning forward in his chair. Harry frowned and shrugged.

"I have money, I have fame, I have a family. Right now all I want is answers unless you have something better to offer." He said easily enough. "The fact is that I'm going to get my answers Lord Malfoy even if it means you lose your mind and Draco never speaks to me again." Harry said opening his eyes fully to look at the man and show him that he was serious.

"What did Draco offer you?" Malfoy asked.

"The thing I wanted most in this world." Harry said honestly. Malfoy's eyes widened.

"Severus." He said in a quiet gasp. Harry flinched visibly. "Oh come Potter did you really think that you were the only person that visited his grave every year?" Malfoy cut angrily. "Do you think I wouldn't have figured out why your tears were so excessive? The only person that might have been blind enough not to see that you were infatuated with a dead man was your ex-wife!" He spat. Harry was amazed by the heat in the man's eyes, the anger. But why was Malfoy angry at him?

"He's not dead." Harry all but whispered to reassure himself.

"No thanks to _you_." Malfoy bit out. "You _left_ him there Potter, dying and alone! If you had saved him than perhaps things would have been different! He would have remembered!" Malfoy's eyes were flashing in accusation and Harry's breath caught in his throat. Remembered? What did that mean? His heart craved to know, any nugget of information, _anything_. But Malfoy would clam up if he thought he had the upper hand.

"I thought he was dead." Harry said his voice hollow. "His heart had stopped and so had his breathing and Voldemort was calling me out." He said softly his memories of that day haunting him still.

"So what? You rushed to the forest in a fit of self-righteous anger? Were you going to avenge him Potter? The man you secretly loved no matter how cruel he was to you? Bella told me you know, she told me how you ran after him the night the old headmaster was killed! Chasing after Severus and weeping like a child, enraged but unable to land a strong enough curse- was it because you felt betrayed? Because you loved him too much to truly want to hurt him?" Malfoy was leaning forward teeth grit and eyes flashing. He wanted to hurt him, he was trying to bait him, but Harry had played this game too often to be led on. Harry nodded calmly.

"Did your wife never tell you what happened that day Malfoy? Did no one tell you?" He asked quietly. "I loved him too much to curse him." He admitted readily. Malfoy's anger fell away instantly. "I knew there must have been a reason, after all he looked straight at me in the astronomy tower. He knew that I was bound and unable to defend myself but he didn't hurt a single hair on my head. Instead he played his part perfectly and protected Draco and I even when it meant killing his mentor. I knew he was clever enough to have something up his sleeve, I'd been using one of his school books for most of the year after all though I hadn't known it until he was running away and told me in his rage- no I knew long before he found other subtle ways to help me that he was protecting me." Harry said quietly. "I didn't know that I loved him though, or I wouldn't acknowledge it at any rate even when he was dying in my arms but I realized later of course that this too was part of his clever scheme, he must have known by the end. Dumbledore must have noticed and told him or maybe I was just too obvious. Watching him die…watching him die allowed me to walk into that forest and stand before Voldemort, to accept death with open arms." He said his gaze distant. "I was willing to die once he was gone, I was willing to simply give up and play my part." He said shaking his head. "Anger? There was no such thing at that point, no there was just- emptiness and sorrow." He said his breath catching. Malfoy was gazing at him silently, coldly for a long moment.

"And after? After you did what you were supposed to do? After you'd destroyed the dark lord? What then? You didn't even think to bury him?" Malfoy hissed. Harry closed his eyes.

"No…it was the first place I wanted to go, but I couldn't move. I stood in the Great Hall for an hour. I stared at the bodies of children I'd gone to school with, mere children that were forced to fight in a war because the adults were too cowardly to fight it for themselves. Children fought that war Malfoy; you do realize this don't you? The adults simply gave in and ducked their heads but the children stood up against an army and came out victorious." His eyes were shadowed as he stared ahead of him. "But they were children Malfoy, and by the end of the day it was their blood that painted the Great Hall so red that you could smell it for weeks after. So yes Malfoy, I stood in the Great Hall and stared at it too stunned and horrified to move. By the time I managed to make it to the shrieking shack it was a blazing inferno. I would have gone in if it meant retrieving Snape's body, but it collapsed before I could get close enough and Ron held me back." He said closing his eyes.

"And so you collapsed." Malfoy said quietly. "While I was using every last bit of my power to save his life while trying to evade Azkaban you slumbered unaware hidden away in the walls of Hogwarts." Malfoy said bitterly. Harry stared at him silently wondering if he would offer up any more information than that. When he didn't Harry sighed.

"I was in a magical coma. The stress of having been hit with the killing curse had taken its toll on my body and with Snape dead and my part done- I didn't want to wake up." He admitted softly.

"But he wasn't dead! He was alive struggling for every breath once the drought of living death was removed; the venom had been sitting silently in his body corroding his tissue even as it sat in stasis. He was in agony and we couldn't do anything about it until the venom had been flushed from his system and then when that was finally done we had to pump him with potions to restore his organs and tissue. Those potions couldn't be taken with pain inhibitors and so he suffered even more! By the time he woke it was a wonder that he could even remember his own name!" Malfoy was incensed now and Harry held his breath. "He couldn't remember me though." Malfoy said his face falling. "He couldn't remember Narcissa or Draco or anything at all! He couldn't remember anything or any one; he was like a new born babe!" Malfoy was seething. "Take my mind Potter, go on! Destroy my mind the way you destroyed his!" He growled.

Harry stared at him silently for a long moment. Snape…Snape didn't remember? Anything? Any one? _Him_? He had to know. He had to find out. But more than even that there was this mysterious dark lord on the rise and he had to know about him too, even if it meant destroying Lucius Malfoy. But before he could lift his wand, before he could do anything another thought hit him like a stone.

"You want me to do this." He said stunned. Malfoy flinched back as though he'd been burned but his eyes…his eyes told Harry the truth. Harry felt his heart seize up in his chest. "I won't find anything will I?" He said quietly. "No…No whoever he is he's too clever to leave you with any information- you've been made a sacrifice but why?" He said narrowing his eyes. Malfoy simply sat there his shoulders beginning to sag as though the world was weighing on them. "He's planned this, somehow he knows that you've given up, he's used you to a certain extent but you weren't even really necessary, he could have chosen any number of people to do what you've done for him so why?" Harry grit his teeth in annoyance. This didn't make any sense!

"Think carefully Potter." Malfoy said with a pained sneer. "Why me?" He said wrinkling his nose in disgust. The answer struck Harry sharply.

"To get to me- no to _test _me…he's watching me but why? What is he testing for? To see how far I'm willing to go? To see what my weaknesses are? How long has he been watching? He knows well enough to know about Draco- possibly even Snape, he knows your weaknesses and mine and Dracos…" His eyes rose sharply. "He's threatened your family." He said suddenly.

"Yes." Malfoy said through grit teeth. Harry moved around to sit opposite of the table and watched Malfoy thoughtfully.

"He's made you make a vow not to say anything." Malfoy smiled. "Then I'll guess." Harry said nodding sharply. Smile for yes frown for no and no reaction for not even close." Harry said tapping his fingers idly. Malfoy smirked.

"Clever." He said with a nod of appreciation. Harry nodded.

"He knows about Snape?" Harry said going to his first fear. Malfoy smiled albeit painfully. Harry felt his eyes fall shut before he opened them again. "He knows about Draco and I." Malfoy smiled. Harry nodded; this was where it got tricky. "Is he watching right now?" Thin lips turned down and Harry relaxed slightly. "Have you met him face to face?" Malfoy continued to frown. "Do you know how long he's been watching me?" Malfoy continued to frown. "But he knows me very well?" Malfoy smiled painfully and Harry sighed. "If I let you walk out of this room unharmed will he kill you?" Malfoy winced but smiled. "And Draco and Narcissa?" Harry said fretfully. Malfoy smiled a bit of fear in his eyes. Harry frowned thoughtfully. Slowly it was beginning to add up but the answers left his mouth dry. "I have a plan." He said allowing his eyes to fall shut. "But Draco won't like it, none of you will." He said shaking his head. Malfoy stared at him intently.

"Whatever it is Potter, know that I'm willing to do anything for my family." He said with a short nod. Harry smiled weakly.

"I'm going to make it look as though I tortured you into insanity, however once you return home you are going to have to raise every ward you have and keep Draco and Narcissa inside." He said before hissing quietly. Three long black snakes hissed in assent and easily slipped from his sleeves before slithering across the ground. Malfoy tensed his face becoming pale his lips drawn into a thin line as the snakes slithered up his pant leg. "These are three of the most deadly snakes in existence; they will serve as extra protection for Narcissa and Draco. I already have other means of protecting them scattered about but you don't need to know about those." He said smiling thinly. "Wait for my instruction and don't take a single step outside of your wards until I tell you to, Draco will know what sign I'll use to make sure that you know it's from me." He said drawing his wand. Malfoy nodded his shoulders sagging slightly in relief.

"Potter." He said wincing slightly. "Saint Mathews church in London." He said gritting his teeth. Harry stared at him for a long moment.

"Snape?" He said hardly daring to hope.

"Save the world Potter, that's what you're good at." Malfoy said looking away. Harry stared at him for a long moment before nodding.

"Did-do you love him too then?" He said clenching his teeth. Malfoy's eyes darted towards him sharply.

"He's a different man now Potter, he has no idea who he is or what he has done for the world, he's found peace in that place, don't ruin it for him." He said coldly. Harry nodded.

"And Malfoy…tell Draco I'm sorry." He said sadly. Malfoy sneered half heartedly and looked away.

"Get on with it boy." He said sharply. Harry smirked faintly before nodding and readying his wand. Spell after spell was suddenly shot at Malfoy. His skin turned a pale sickly gray color and his nose began to bleed, Blood vessels burst in his eyes and with a wince one of his eyes blackened, a small cut appeared on his cheek-bone and grey eyes glared at him before turning glossy. Harry wordlessly handed him a tissue.

"Leave a bit of the blood around your nose." he said before casting a spell on himself to appear pale. When we go out there you are going to have to stare forward and not move a muscle no matter what, don't smile, don't frown, don't look at Draco or Narcissa or anyone else. If this man is anything like I think he is he will want to watch the fall out between Draco and I, the slightest hint that you are sane will kill you instantly." He said frowning.

"I understand." Lucius said quietly. Harry nodded grimly and took a deep breath.

"Lets' go then." He said transfiguring the chair into a wheel chair. "Bear with it Malfoy, for your family." He said quietly before pushing the chair forward and holding his pass to the lock on the door. With a shimmer of magic the door clicked open. It didn't take much for Harry to pull the expression he needed, he only needed to remember how it felt to hold Snape in his arms and believe that the man was dead. He rolled Malfoy through the empty halls until he reached the room where Draco would be waiting. His heart ached as normally stoic features twisted in horror and gray eyes widened the loss plain to see. Harry was suddenly glad that he hadn't actually gone through with it; Draco would have shattered him right then and there. Draco stared at his father and the silence rang heavily in the air for a long moment before gray eyes lifted and stared into his.

Harry forced himself to remember that day, the empty feeling as he stared at Snape's still body, the feeling that it had all somehow been his fault, if only he'd been better, if only he'd been stronger, faster, _more_. But Snape was dead and somehow that hurt worse than anything he knew. And more than ever he was aware as he dropped his gaze that Snape hadn't made that sacrifice for him alone, it hadn't been his, Snape had done it for Draco. He'd kept that knowledge from Draco ever since.

"Th-There wasn't anything was there?" Draco said his voice weary and broken. "There was no information…but you still went through with it." Harry looked up and suddenly gray eyes looked very much like onyx ones. He didn't block Draco's fist when it crashed into his face, he didn't stop it or the blows that followed, he laid there and took the beating for the first time since he'd been a child. He didn't fight it when Draco's wand came next and curses fell on him cutting his skin burning his flesh. Only when an unforgivable was on the tip of Draco's tongue did Harry reach up and grasp his hand.

"You mustn't Dray the alarms will go off." He wheezed. Draco was panting his face screwed up and his eyes crazed as he stared down at him. Harry flinched when Draco spat at him and climbed off of him expression screwed up and into the most horrendous hatred, a look that Harry had never seen in Draco's eyes even when they'd been students blinded by house rivalry.

"Congratulations Potter." He sneered. "You've become a monster." He hissed cruelly. Harry felt his breath hitch in his throat as Draco grabbed the handles to his father's wheel chair and pushed him away with a quiet whirr. He laid there and listened to the sound of the floo flaring to life before the silence followed in its wake. Slowly he stood ignoring the agony of what he estimated to be three broken ribs and the tug of blistering skin. Determined he limped to the floo and tossed some powder in weakly calling out his destination before stepping through.

As the ashes settled the smallest of black dots scurried from the upper corner of the room rushing across the wall and through the door bypassing alarms and wards alike. Unnoticed it crawled into an air vent and through countless twisting turns until coming upon its destination. Letting out its silken thread it dripped down from the ceiling dropping quickly to the ground below before with a flash changing and morphing into a human male. The man with cropped black hair and deep set blue eyes knelt swiftly.

"He did it my lord." He said quietly. "Malfoy Senior was little more than a piece of furniture put on for display." He said crisply and quietly.

"I know." Came a voice. Deep resonating power began to creep through the room as a set of glasses were set down. "I was watching through your eyes." Blue eyes widened but the head bowed respectfully. "I wasn't sure just how far Potter would go to defeat me; it always interests me to see how far one is willing to go for what they believe in." The voice said calmly.

"Will you try to sway him then my Lord?" The kneeling man asked hesitantly. The other was silent for a long moment. "He doesn't seem to be the type that can be swayed…"

"Anyone can be swayed given the right persuasion, every one has their price, that one thing that they would do _anything _for." Came the bored reply. The kneeling man winced.

"Forgive my imprudence my Lord, it is not my place to question you." He said bowing until his forehead nearly touched the ground.

"Hn." The other said lazily. "Continue to watch Potter." The other said dismissively before watching as the man shifted and changed until all that could be seen was a tiny black spider scuttling across the floor.

"That was too easy Harry, but then Voldemort didn't know you like I do." The Dark Lord muttered with a slowly growing smirk.


	3. Chapter 3

-3-

Harry had never been a religious sort of man, he'd always believed in life and death to be two sides of the same coin. You lived making your way through life and its troubles and then you died continuing to exist in a non-corporal state. There was no heaven or hell in his mind though he'd like to think that there was a place like Azkaban after death for those who truly deserved to go. But otherwise he just tried not to think of death as much as possible, which was in his eyes the very reason for a religion, people needed something to lean on when faced with the uncertainty of death, some chose liquor, some chose church, some chose both and a few managed to keep going. He was in the middle of liquor and keep going, he'd seen so much death in his time alive that mourning had become second nature to him.

Oh he'd tried the whole church thing, when he was really young he'd truly tried to believe that there was a god, at the time the Dursley's were certain that perhaps church could 'cleanse' him of his freakishness. He'd wanted to believe that it would, wanted to believe that his parents were in heaven and that he would go too some day if he was good and quit doing freakish things. But he'd given up on God when he'd assumed that God had given up on him. Still he knew enough not to want to piss him off if there really was a God so he showed his respect as he entered the large creaking doors.

Slowly he made his way down the long isle staring around him at the stained glass windows and the long padded benches feeling nostalgia and new found respect for the cross that was hung up before him. He knew now what it must have taken to willingly walk to death- to take the burden of the many and carry it despite the pain and the sheer weight of it. He wondered if he had ever met the man if they wouldn't have become good friends. He frowned as he heard a soft pitter patter of steps come up behind him. Since it was a Tuesday morning he'd assumed that there wouldn't be anyone there but to his surprise as he turned around a small boy was striding to him with a determined gaze. Messy copper hair floated about his head and a smatter or freckles crossed the bridge of a small pert nose which was wrinkled as their gazes locked. Brown eyes glared at him balefully and small fists settled on narrow hips.

"I'm Michael!" The boy said with a scowl. Harry blinked. "Well? Introduce your self!" The boy demanded stomping a foot. "I can't tell you what you're doing wrong until you introduce yourself or it would be impolite!" He all but shouted. Harry felt his eyebrows rise and a smile tug at the corner of his lips. Boy but didn't that attitude smack of-

"Michael!" Harry's heart thundered to a halt and his gaze snapped up. He felt the blood rush from his face. Snape, still pale and imposing yet entirely different stood at the opposing end of the isle frowning helplessly at the boy. There was a softness about him though that had never been there, relaxed, unhurried…gentle.

"Gee I'm sorry sir I didn't mean to make you cry!" The boy said startling him. Harry blinked down at the copper haired boy for a moment before noticing the tears that were dripping from his eyes. He relaxed under the contrite look on the boy's face and smiled faintly at the uncanny resemblance the boy had to Ron.

"No forgive me." He said wiping the tears away in mild annoyance as he crouched down so that he was at eyelevel with the child. He held out his hand. "My name is Harry Potter, pleased to meet you." He said forcing himself to focus. Merlin he'd made an utter fool of himself hadn't he? Snape didn't even know who he was and he was already messing things up! The boy looked skeptical before reaching out and grasping his hand with a firm shake.

"I'm Michael, but you already know that now, I was gonna' tell you-"

"Going to Michael, the word 'gonna' isn't any where in the dictionary." Snape said mildly as he strode towards them. It was only then that Harry noticed the difference in the robes as well as the bible in the man's hand.

"Yes father." The boy said reluctantly before turning back to Harry. "I was _going_ to tell you that you're supposed to kneel before the cross." The boy said proudly. Harry glanced at the idol and tried his hardest not to stare at Snape.

"Off you go Michael, go study your lessons for the day." Snape said with a roll of his eyes.

"But _father_!" The boy said pleadingly. Harry watched with slight amusement as Snape's expression hardened slightly.

"Did you just _whine_ at me?" He asked softly. Michael gulped loudly before sharply turning to Harry and bowing deeply.

"It was a pleasure to meet you Mister Potter!" He said before turning and running full force down the isle.

"Running in the church honestly…" Snape muttered to himself with pursed lips. Harry smiled weakly only to wince when dark eyes turned back towards him appearing wary and sharp but bearing no recognition of him. It was almost too much to bear and Harry cursed to feel his eyes ache again with hot tears.

"Sorry I-"

"You know me." Snape said solidly. "Or at least you knew the me before I lost my memories." He said with a slightly frustrated scowl. He was calm though, and that alone nearly drove Harry to hysterics.

"How-?" He started with wide eyes.

"Lucius Malfoy told me. He told me that if a Harry Potter ever came to this church then to run as far and as fast as I possibly can because Harry Potter would surely ruin my peaceful life." He said with a snort. "However I fail to see how _you _could possibly be able to harm my life." He said scanning Harry with dark eyes. "In fact if anything you look as though you are about to break down right here and now." He said narrowing his eyes. Harry suddenly doubted that he should have come but he _had_ to. He had to see Snape and there he was. Harry stared at him unabashedly now that Snape had figured out that Harry had once known him. Snape was still thin however the circles that had once been permanent under his eyes were gone and the sallow skin had filled out and appeared softer. He looked healthy, _happy_ despite the scowl he was wearing.

"He would say that." Harry said at last. "And he would probably be right too." He said feeling his heart twist.

"And yet you come now? Ten years after I've joined this church?" Snape said sounding more amused than anything though there was an edge to his voice. Harry couldn't help but shiver as he lifted his hands staring at them. Ever since that night he'd been able to see blood on them.

"You died in my arms." Harry said quietly. "For the last ten years I've thought you dead." He said his hands falling to his sides helplessly.

"You know…" Snape said quietly. "You know what happened to me you know my past, Potter you must tell me you must look at me and tell- gah!" Snape suddenly lifted his hand and pressed it to the side of his head wincing terribly and Harry panicked feeling his blood rush from his face.

"Snape? Nonononononononono…Snape!" He felt his legs tremble and give beneath him as Snape's face went lax and his body fell. "No!" He sobbed the dam he'd been building for years crashing down around him as he cracked. His hands shook as he drew Snape into his arms letting his magic slide from his fingers and sink into the man's skin checking for his pulse, for injury for anything.

"He'll be alright Mister Potter." A voice said drawing his frantic gaze away from Snape to the small cautious form. Michael was staring at him in determination. "He faints every so often because his health isn't very good but he'll wake up sir I promise." The boy said with a nod. Harry shuddered as his magic pulled back into him and relaxed when Snape groaned quietly before shifting slightly. Michael scowled slightly and shifted a bit before speaking again. "He has a bed set up in his office, but I'm not strong enough to carry him yet." He said sullenly. Harry blinked at the child before carefully slipping his other arm under the crook of the man's knees and lifting him up. Michael's eyes grew wide at the ease with which he did so before a tentative smile crossed his lips.

"Which way?" Harry said softly.

"This way." The boy said before turning and quickly making his way down the isle. Harry followed with swift sure steps his heart pounding as he cradled Snape's body to himself. Snape…Snape…Alive…Snape was alive…The thought ran repetitively through his mind as they slipped through darkened hallways quietly until reaching a small door. The boy pushed the door open and Harry walked in behind him noting how barren the room seemed before setting Snape down on the uncomfortable looking cot.

"Do you think he'll get cold?" Harry muttered to himself before fussing over the thin blanket and subtly casting a warming charm. "I thought Malfoy would have taken better care of him…" He growled reaching out and setting his hand on Snape's forehead.

"Malfoy?" The boy said his face screwing up. Harry snorted at the expression.

"My sentiments exactly." Harry said with a nod.

"He and the father argue constantly." Michael said dragging the only chair in the room over to the side of the bed and forcing Harry to sit. "Malfoy always leaves angry because Snape wants to devote himself to the lord, but Malfoy keeps saying that it's a load of poppycock." Michael said tugging absently at his trousers which Harry could see with a frown were too small on the child.

"Sounds like Malfoy alright." Harry said smirking slightly.

"So why didn't you kneel?" The curious child said crossing his arms as he eyed Harry skeptically. Harry smiled thinly.

"I made a promise to my best friend just before he died never to bow my head; I swore to hold my head high no matter what." Harry said sadly. The boy eyed him for a moment longer before nodding to himself and holding out his hand.

"I like you." He said definitively. Harry's lips twitched and he captured the boy's hand in a firm handshake.

"I like you too Michael, it's good to know that Snape has some one like you protecting him." He said amused. Michael puffed out his chest and lifted his chin.

"Father Snape took us all in when we had no where else to go, the other orphanages aren't very good and we got hit a lot but Father Snape never hit us not even when we were bad!" He said grinning from ear to ear before leaning in closer. "Don't tell him I said so but I love him, even if he can't cook!" Harry didn't know whether to laugh or cry at that statement.

"Brother Miiiike!" A small female voice cried out from afar. The copper haired boy puffed out his cheeks and scowled as the pitter patter of feet approached the room and the door clicked open hesitantly. The largest set of blue eyes that Harry had ever seen peered up at him from under long dark lashes and a small round face bore a surprised expression as a little girl looked up at him.

"This is Mister Potter he's father Snape's friend Cilia." Michael introduced with a grin. The girl whose face was surrounded by black ringlets crept shyly into the room and stared up at him hesitantly. "He's not mean like Malfoy was." Michael said with a jerk of his chin. The girl tugged at her already ratty skirt and Harry frowned in sudden dawning understanding. The Orphanage must just be scraping by; Snape would never dress these children this way if he could help it.

"I'm Cilia I'm six years old and I like to paint." The little girl said frankly before holding out her hand whilst nibbling nervously on her bottom lip. Harry grasped the small hand in his and felt a small smile cross his lips.

"I'm Harry Potter, I'm Snape's friend." He said amused by the whole situation. Suddenly a loud gurgling growling sound filled the room and Harry's eyebrows rose as the girls' cheeks flushed bright red.

"Hungry?" He asked amused. The girl ducked her head in shame. Harry chuckled and then stilled at the sound. He hadn't laughed in a very long time. His smile faded a bit but he shook his head. "Very well then, how about this, Snape needs to rest and I'm supposing that there is no one else around to cook for you so why don't you show me to the kitchen hmmm? I'm a passable cook when I want to be." He said happily. The girls eyes widened and a grin spread across her cheeks.

"Really!" Michael said bouncing on the balls of his feet. Harry chuckled at their expression and stood.

"This way!" The girl said suddenly grasping his hand and nearly running away with it. He snorted and followed after her making his way down the small cramped back rooms of the church until they reached a large kitchen. Harry snorted at the scorch marks he could see on the walls and quickly reached for the cupboards.

"Today is pasta!" Michael offered helpfully. Harry grinned as he found the packages of pasta and the cans of tomato sauce.

"Alright I'll get this ready then; it should be ready in half an hour so please have the others wash their hands and set the table." He said as he continued to search for what he needed. The two looked at each other with large grins on their faces before tearing out of the room. Harry snorted and put a large pot of water to boil. It had been a while since he'd cooked, most of the time he hardly had time to eat a sandwich before running out again and more often than was probably healthy he simply forgot to eat too busy to think about such a trivial detail. He worked smoothly though falling into the rhythm that he found he'd missed as he chopped and minced and sautéed losing all sense of time as the kitchen became filled with familiar comforting sounds and smells. Long ago, when it had been just him and Gin, he'd cooked for her every night and relished the challenge of new recipes and different exotic dishes. He smiled faintly as he remembered those days. He and Ginny had been so close back then, before she realized that he could never give her children, before he acknowledged that there was something that just felt _wrong_ about having sex with her.

Before Draco kissed him.

His smile faded away as he thought of the blond. Draco…Draco had filled a part of him that Ginny never could, things just seemed to fit together with Draco even when he'd come to understand that Draco simply wasn't going to leave his wife the way Harry had. Draco had been passion and fire and comfort- everything he was missing. Ginny had been a dream, the perfect, normal wife who wanted a perfect normal family. Instead she had Harry, Harry who tried his hardest and was as sweet as he could be but could never truly give her what she needed. Harry who was broken and so, so old by the time they'd married. He'd tried; they both had, every second of every day together, until Draco forced him to recognize his feelings for Snape. Until the healers announced him impotent. He shook his head to dispel the thoughts as he turned off the stove and slipped out of the kitchen to check on the small room he'd seen earlier where long tables had been set up for the children. As he entered the noise level dropped and at least twenty wide eyes stared at him in awe their expressions hungry and wanting. Harry's breath caught in his throat.

"I got the pitchers of water Mister Potter!" Michael said bouncing up and down on his heels.

"Ah, so you are the illusive mister Potter the children were telling me about." Harry spun his body reacting defensively his arms out and ready to protect the children before he caught sight of the small woman who was staring at him with a startled expression on her face. A nun…Merlin he had been about to attack a bloody nun, how paranoid was he?

"Er, sorry you startled me." He said sheepishly. Had he really been that distracted? It was practically impossible for people to sneak up on him these days. The woman smiled kindly and shook her head.

"No, no forgive me! After all you went through all the trouble of cooking!" She said sounding amused. Harry blinked.

"This is Anna!" Michael said pointing at her. "She can't cook either." He added in a loud whisper. The nun's cheeks reddened terribly and Harry shook his head in amazement. He'd forgotten how frank children could be.

"Have no fear; I've made enough for even this small army." He said ruffling Michaels hair fondly before stepping back out into the hall and making his way to the kitchen where the large pot of pasta with meat sauce sat. Carefully he lifted it and settled it onto the small rolling cart.

"Is there anything I can help you with?" The nun ventured her cheeks still tinged pink. "I'm really sorry that you had to go through the bother of cooking for us!" She added shyly. Harry smiled slightly and shook his head.

"Snape needed the rest, besides it felt good to cook again, I live alone and my job requires most of my meals to be eaten in haste." He said as he rolled the cart through the hall. The children were practically falling off their benches they were so hungry and he snorted before offering them a mild glare that caused them to return to their seats.

"I burnt breakfast this morning." The nun said ducking her head. "They hardly touched it because it was so horrible, they must be starving now." She said shaking her head in distress. Harry handed her a basket with rolls he'd warmed and buttered.

"Don't worry." He said liking the smallish woman already though she looked harried and stressed. He glanced around the room and found the children with folded hands and bowed heads.

"You'll have to pray." The nun said amused. Harry winced slightly.

"I don't suppose you could?" He said frantically searching his mind for the words to the prayer he used to use as a child. The nun grinned mischievously and shook her head. Harry sighed and nodded before folding his own hands and awkwardly saying the prayer only stumbling once causing the children to chortle quietly. When he finished the children at the table closest to him stood with their trays and lined up in front of him. One by one he offered them heaping plates of pasta frowning more and more at the distressing state of their clothing. They looked ravenous too though he knew now that it wasn't for lack of trying. Harry was suddenly glad that he'd made as much as he had, no sooner had the last of the children sat down did a few of the first stand for more.

"Anna?" He asked as he continued to fill plates watching the hungry faces light up with glee as the children quite literally sang praises to his cooking. The nun glanced up at him her cheeks flushed with happiness. "Snape might never tell me but I'm not blind, just how much trouble is this Orphanage in financially?" He demanded giving her a hard look. She winced and sputtered her eyes turning glossy.

"We might lose them." She admitted softly. "Father Snape is a good man, he does his best for these children but our church is small." She whispered nearly choking on the words. Harry clenched his teeth and stared out around at the room filled with young happy faces.

"Don't worry Anna, not one moment longer." He said smiling slightly before stiffening as he felt a familiar presence. Snape strode through the door with wide eyes and stared around at the children like a lost man before zeroing in on Harry.

"You can cook?" He said with equal amounts of hope and disbelief. Harry snorted and handed Snape a heaping plate.

"Of course I can, now sit down and eat." He said checking the man over with his eyes. "You scared me Snape." He admitted with pursed lips. Snape lifted his chin slightly.

"I was fine Potter just tired." He said gripping the plate tightly. Harry sighed.

"Eat Snape, you needed the rest and a proper meal won't be amiss either I'm betting." He said pointedly. Snape pursed his lips but before he could say anything more his stomach gave a mighty growl and his eyes widened in embarrassment. Harry snorted and shook his head before pointing at the table causing the man to duck his head before rushing away. Huh…Snape embarrassed, it was amusing to say the least. Eventually he left the serving to Anna and took a seat beside Snape cutting into his meal with gusto.

"You're injured." Snape said after a few moments of silence. Harry hesitated, for a brief moment he wanted to tell Snape everything, ask him a million questions and demand answers from a man he knew _couldn't_ answer his questions.

"I work for a brand of the authorities." He said instead. "The job gets rough sometimes." He said with a slight shrug.

"You work with people like Lucius then? People that I used to be a part of- people with magic?" Snape said in a quiet voice. Harry nearly choked and had to take a deep drought of water to clear his throat.

"Yes." He said carefully before erecting a silencing shield around them. "We can speak freely now." He said before taking another bite. Snape gazed at him for a moment and Harry stared pointedly into his pasta.

"Lucius wouldn't tell me anything about my past." Snape said quietly. "Would you?" He asked seriously his dark eyes glittering. Harry looked up at him with thinly drawn lips and grit his teeth. Tell Snape…tell him that he hated Harry? That he'd suffered for a better part of his life; that he had been a broken bitter man? Could he risk the absence of pain and sorrow he could see now? He thought about it and his heart pounded, a selfish part of him wanted to keep Snape like this, untouched by the past. But he knew better than anyone what Snape's take on that would be. They were Snape's memories, they belonged to him and Harry had no right to keep them from him! He could almost hear the man's sharp voice in his mind.

"If you asked it of me, then there is little that I _wouldn't_ do for you Severus Snape." He said seriously. "But I warn you now, if you wanted to know, it would change you. Today I met a Snape that I have never met before- you were not cold, or bitter, you didn't scowl at me or hate me simply for existing, you are completely different…you are…happy." He said swallowing thickly. "I don't know if I could take that away from you but it is _your_ past and _you_ have a right to it." He ended looking away.

"I don't sound like I was a very nice person." Snape said a small pained smile lingering on the corner of his lips. Harry shook his head sharply.

"No, you were everything you had to be and you had every right to hate me. Still, in the end you gave me the courage to do what I needed to do- if it weren't for you the world would have been a darker place." He glanced at Snape to find him frowning slightly a curious expression on his face.

"Well Mister Potter which was I a hero or a villain?" He asked eyebrows raised. Harry looked away.

"Neither…you were a martyr, but to those of us that know the truth you were a hero- a hero who sacrificed too much, a hero that deserves a peaceful life." He looked then at the children who were laughing and talking to one another animatedly and smiled faintly. This place, even with all that it was lacking had something that he hadn't seen for a long time.

"You are alone." Snape said quietly. "I've seen those eyes before, all sorts of men and women come to my church but few come alone and few are truly alone. You have no wife?" He asked carefully. Harry smiled wanly.

"I had one, a long time ago, but I couldn't give her what she wanted." He said softly.

"Family?" Snape questioned just as cautiously. Harry smiled widely but the smile fell away before he could hold it up.

"My family…" He trailed off. "My family was her family but…it's falling apart." He admitted. "My best friend was her brother and he died- it should have been me…" He didn't notice the hot tears that had begun to slide down his cheeks. There was no photograph to keep him strong here, there was no Ron, no Hermione…Merlin how long had it been since he'd spoken to her?

"Potter…Potter look at me-argh!" Harry jumped as Snape suddenly gripped the sides of his head in pain and lurched forward nearly hitting his head on the roughly hewn table before him. Harry jumped up and pulled Snape up by the shoulders reaching out with his magic and probing gently as he tried desperately to figure out what was wrong. Had the venom caused some sort of neural damage? Snape gave a great shudder before falling lax in his arms. Harry's heart was thundering in his chest and he lifted Snape up and swiftly strode back down the halls he was becoming accustomed to until he found the crude wooden door and pushed it open gently laying Snape down onto the bed. He checked Snape's pulse the muggle way and continued to poke and prod him expertly until the soft sound of someone clearing their throat drew his gaze away. Anna was standing in the door way looking nervous as she shifted from one foot to the other.

"How often does this happen usually?" He demanded.

"Once or twice a month." She said wearily. Harry stilled.

"I did this…" He said his voice hoarse. "My presence because I'm here-"

"Or it could be that he's been up late most nights trying to figure out how to feed and clothe the children." She said crossing her arms a thin scowl on her lips. Harry frowned and glanced at Snape.

"Lucius never gave him money?" Harry asked gritting his teeth.

"The blond man with the long hair?" She asked after a moment of confusion. "No, why would he?" She asked.

"Because Snape is the reason his son is still alive!" Harry growled. "That utter-"

"Mister Potter you are in a house of God!" The nun reminded with red cheeks. Harry bit his lip and took a deep breath to calm himself.

"Sorry." He said shaking his head before standing up and rubbing his eyes. "I think I've probably over stayed my welcome for today." He said before pulling out his wallet. "Is there a fund that goes directly to the children?" He asked pulling out a large stack of notes making her eyes widen impossibly.

"Yes." She said hoarsely. Harry nodded and held out the stack.

"This should do for today I'll bring more next time, please make a list of everything this church needs and don't worry about expenses, without a family to spend it all I'm ashamed to admit that my pay has been piling up over the years not to mention money I inherited." He said with a wince. "I don't spend much on myself you see." He said gesturing to the faded clothes he'd worn with him.

"Mister Potter this is too much-" He held up his hand

"I always wanted children even though I'm unable to have any myself." He said grimly. "My childhood left much to be desired too, like these children I had no parents, no where to go, and no one who cared about me the way you and Snape care for them. I won't let a lack of funding keep them from having what they need." He said shaking his head. Anna gazed at him for a moment before nodding.

"Thank you mister Potter." She said softly before glancing at Snape. "For everything." She added with a kind smile. Harry shook his head and straightened his shoulders.

"I'll be by to make dinner tomorrow if you don't mind I'm a bit tired of TV dinners and eating alone doesn't appeal to me either." He said with a smirk at her blush.

"I'm sure the children will appreciate that." She muttered. Harry chuckled as he walked to the door his eyes drifting towards Snape for one last lingering moment.

"Take care of him Anna." He whispered his voice pained. Her eyes softened and she nodded watching as he walked out.


	4. Chapter 4

-4-

"Thought I would find you here." Harry jumped as Draco's voice rang through the cold air.

"Draco-" His voice was pained and his eyes pleading.

"I've already warded this area so that no one can listen in." Draco said tears dripping from his eyes as he looked away. There was a slight chill to the air, a breeze that rustled the grass and added to the eerie feel that cemeteries generally had. Harry looked away from Draco and stared at the granite marker before him.

"It seems strange to know that this grave is empty." Harry said quietly. "It feels…hollow." He said placing his hand over his chest. Arms wrapped around him with sudden fierceness.

"Harry…Harry…Harry…" Draco repeated softly as he sobbed into the back of his neck. "You just let me beat you…why did you do that?" He whispered.

"You were supposed to stay in Malfoy Manor Draco, it's not safe-"

"I'm safer here with you than I am anywhere else damn it! Did you really think I could keep away after-after-!" He sobbed and Harry let out a long tired sigh before reaching up and grasping Draco's arm.

"I would have done it Draco." He said quietly. Draco sobbed louder.

"I know! I know you lousy bastard! But you didn't, and damn you but I love you Harry fucking Potter!" Draco cursed squeezing him tighter. Harry's breath caught in his throat.

"Draco…" He closed his eyes in pain.

"I know!" Draco cried out petulantly. "Just shut up and kiss me you bastard!" He said yanking Harry's hair until he yielded and sank into the hungry lips that sought his. The kiss was fierce, desperate and wrong, they both knew it, too much had been said, something between them was broken. Draco let go with a gasp and a broken sort of sob before crawling away and burying his face in his knees. Harry struggled to regain his breath.

"I saw Snape." Harry said after a moment. Draco stiffened but nodded his face still buried in his knees.

"If it were anyone else I don't think I could have let them have you." Draco said his voice muffled. Harry snorted bitterly.

"He doesn't want the likes of me Draco you know that." He said quietly.

"But you've already made your choice, and you've chosen him, just like I knew you would. I've already lost you Harry." Draco said lifting his reddened tearstained face. Harry looked away uneasily.

"I can't help the way I feel Draco." He said grimly.

"I know." Draco said emptily. "I'm not asking you to." He added. Harry didn't know what to say to that and the silence stretched between them for a while.

"Where do we go from here Dray?" Harry said feeling suddenly insecure. Draco sniffed quietly and smiled faintly.

"To church I suppose." Draco said humorlessly.

#$% #$% #$% #$%

"You know you could just have the elves make it." Draco said his hands gripping the dashboard tightly as Harry pulled into the church parking lot. The boot of his car was stuffed with grocery bags and Draco's quota for exposure to muggles had been overwhelmed nearly twenty minutes ago in the grocery store.

"I like to cook." Harry said with a shrug. His quota for Draco's attitude had been overwhelmed five minutes into their shopping trip. "And you locked down Malfoy manor." He reminded with a half hearted glare.

"You told me to lock it down; you didn't stay to be inside when I locked it down." He said nearly jumping out of the car as it pulled to a stop. Harry snorted and climbed out.

"So your next logical conclusion of course was to live in my apartment?" He asked curiously. Draco smirked and crossed his arms.

"It's hardly even your apartment, you rarely even sleep there, you just crash in the office. I'm _hardly_ in the way." He said with a sniff. Harry rolled his eyes and stilled as a familiar echo filled his perception. Draco noticed and the glitter in his eyes died a swift and painful death.

"Harry, Draco." Snape greeted as he approached. It had been a week since Harry had started coming every night to make dinner for the children and simply sit and talk with Snape, Draco had joined him on occasion but it was hard Harry could tell.

"Chicken parmesan sound good?" Harry asked as he handed Draco two large bags of groceries.

"Good gracious Potter you're spoiling them." Snape said with a contented smile as he accepted one of the bags. Harry took the last three in his arms and with a quick glance around spelled the boot closed.

"I should hope so!" Harry said with a grin.

"I still don't understand what you see in them." Draco muttered as they made their way to one of the side doors. "Their messy, noisy and have no respect for personal space." He said shaking his head.

"Sounds a lot like you don't you think?" Harry returned as they stepped into the kitchen. Snape snorted and Draco rolled his eyes.

"Watch it Hart or I'll show you just how little I think of personal boundaries." Draco said with a flirtatious wink. Harry glowered at him for a moment while Snape sputtered.

"We're in a church Dray." He said shortly.

"We're wizards in a church." Draco commented smugly. "_Gay_ wizards in a church." He said effectively outing them both. Harry twitched.

"Ahem." Snape said a faint blush on his cheeks. Harry crossed his arms effectively becoming a solid figure his eyes narrowing.

"So, you're saying that because I'm a wizard by birth, something I had no choice in, and because I just happen to find men attractive that I'm not allowed to believe in God?" He said quirking his eyebrow. "Do you think I'm _tainted_ Draco?" He said forcefully. Draco's expression immediately became alarmed.

"Hart you know I didn't mean it that way-"

"Then don't make comments that offend me." Harry said sharply before turning to the sink and beginning to rinse the lettuce.

"Hart…"

"Don't." Harry said sharply. "Don't call me that." He said quietly.

"Why? Why can't I? Because _Snape_ is here? Because we can't be lovers any more? Can't we at least be friends Harry?" Draco's voice was rising and Harry had the urge to smack him for making a scene.

"We'll talk about this _later_ Draco." He said sharply.

"When?" Draco demanded. "In three days when you finally decide to come home and crash on the couch? On the lunch break that you don't actually take? When are you going to schedule me in Potter? Between meeting with the minister and catching the next bad guy?!" Draco nearly shouted. Harry spun around his eyes cold and his jaw clenched. Draco was panting his gray eyes flashing, itching for a fight.

"Maybe you should go home Draco." It wasn't a suggestion. "To your _wife_." Draco flinched as though he'd been hit.

"When are you going to live Harry?" He said tightly. "When are you going to stop fighting for everyone but yourself!?" He was panting his hands twitching and there was nothing Harry could do about it. Draco let out a curse before turning sharply and striding out of the room apparating with a pop. Harry sighed heavily and turned back to the sink.

"I'm sorry you had to hear that." He said quietly. Snape was silent for a moment.

"He seems to care for you a great deal." He said carefully. Harry nodded slowly.

"I thought I could love him once, I thought I did love him, but it wasn't the kind of love he wanted, it wasn't enough no matter what I did." He said shaking his head. "He gets like that some times, especially right now with his father-" He cut himself off and shook his head.

"Ah- I think I see." Snape said with a nod.

"Things were said, and done, things that broke us. I'm trying to be a friend to him but-" He shook his head slowly. "He doesn't get it. He doesn't understand that I _like_ to help people when I can; that this life, this is all I've ever known." He shook his head. "It sounds stupid to say it though." He said shaking his head.

"No it doesn't." Snape said quietly. "You are a very generous person by nature whereas Draco has been spoilt all his life- in this way the two of you will clash quite frequently. Though I suppose there is something to be said about working _too_ hard." He said pointedly. Harry smiled wanly and began chopping vegetables.

"I take breaks every once in a while." He defended.

"When you're too injured to work?" Snape guessed. Harry winced and nodded.

"Caught me." He said with a slight grin. "But I don't know what to do with myself when I'm not working; I end up doing research or working my way through paperwork anyway." He said with a shrug.

"I cannot tell you what to do Potter, but it seems to me that what you can do when you aren't working is spend your time with your friends. You seem to think that your family is falling apart, perhaps instead of burying yourself in your work you should spend the time trying to fix what is broken." Snape said leaning against the door frame. Harry hesitated his hand pausing mid-motion as a slow self depreciating smile crossed his lips.

"You always did know exactly what to say." He said softly. "You didn't mince words or try to sugarcoat them like everybody else does around me, and you were never afraid to tell me what I _should_ be doing or that what I was doing was completely and utterly wrong." He said his shoulders slumping slightly as his eyes darted away afraid to show the slight gloss of tears. "I missed that Snape." He whispered.

"Hmph, perhaps I'll have to berate you more often then." The man said dryly. Harry snorted and continued to chop idly.


	5. Chapter 5

-5-

Harry stared up at the burrow with a sad smile as his sweating palm gripped the bunch of flowers he'd picked up. It had been a little over a year since he'd actually showed up for one of Molly's Sunday dinners. It had been too awkward, too bitter and the empty silences had nearly destroyed him, but Snape was right, in his own way he was hiding behind all his paperwork and missions. This was his family, they had fought a war with him and they deserved better than to be ignored. Taking a deep breath he crossed the final distance to the door and lifted his hand to knock. However the door swung open before he could and he was drawn into a Molly hug before he knew what to do.

"I was wondering when you'd build up the nerve to come in!" She said her eyes suspiciously wet as she pulled away slightly. "Oh well, let me get a look at you!" She said cupping his cheeks before tisking lightly. "Too thin by far but we'll fix that won't we!" She said beaming up at him. Harry nearly choked as the feeling of being loved overwhelmed him.

"Now Molly let the boy breath!" Arthur said grinning widely as Harry was tugged into the kitchen. Arthur Weasley looked just as Harry could remember as he tinkered idly with the muggle tv remote on the table. Harry felt his smile widen as he glanced around. Same old burrow, barely standing on it's last leg, filled to the brim with homey things.

"Oh Arthur must you work at the table! Clear it away for heavens sake! And get Charlie up will you? George will be here any moment and- oh how lovely Harry!" She said flitting about for a vase as Harry wordlessly handed her the flowers a small smile on his lips.

This was what he was protecting.

This feeling of home, the burrow was the only place he ever felt it, the feeling of belonging. He sat down at the table and Arthur gave him a long look a small peaceful smile on his lips. His hair had thinned and was gray now instead of shocking red now that he looked, and he'd gained some weight, but he was the same and Harry immediately felt calm even in the hustle and bustle of Molly Weasley's kitchen.

"Sorted yourself out then?" Arthur said calmly. Harry's smile faltered a bit and he stared into the tea cup that appeared in front of him.

"I hope so." He said mildly. Arthur smiled and shared a tired look with him.

"Welcome home son." He said before turning back to the remote. Harry felt oddly brittle even as the words warmed him.

"I'm sorry." He whispered. A hush fell over the kitchen quite suddenly and Harry winced as he was suddenly boxed over the ears.

"I'll have none of that Harry James Potter, it wasn't your fault! For heavens sakes!" She said tossing up her hands as Harry amusedly rubbed his ears. Arthur let out a full bellied chuckle before gathering up his mess and standing.

"Harry, you've been a part of this family since the day you first walked into our kitchen did you really think that a bit of drama would keep you from your spot at the dinner table?" He said with a pointed look.

"But Ron…" Harry trailed off painfully and a second hush fell as pots and pans froze mid air.

"Ron died a hero Harry James Potter; I don't ever want you to make his sacrifice less than it was by assuming that you weren't worth it." Molly said seriously. Harry jumped as arms wound around his shoulders and the scent of cologne.

"Oh dear, has my estranged sexy younger brother returned?" A deep voice said slightly gruffly. Harry fought the urge to squirm.

"Charles Weasley you release Harry this instant! None of your shenanigans in my kitchen!" Molly said waving a spatula at her son threateningly. Charlie chuckled deeply before pulling away and holding his hands up in surrender.

"Alright, alright I'll be good! It's his fault for being so cute! How's a guy supposed to ignore that sort of vulnerability?" he said winking at Harry who couldn't help but blush. Charlie was just as handsome as he could remember, his hair had grown out and down his back in copper ringlets and the dangerous look he'd once frequented had turned to something more edgy and refined his tee shirts and jeans replaced with chic dress shirts and trendy trousers.

"That's right mum!" Harry said grinning. "Tell him to stop bothering me at work too! Ever since the dragons rights act was stuck under our noses he's been buggering about my office- ow!" Harry winced as his hand was smacked by a spatula.

"Language Harry!" Molly scolded before turning back to her cooking. "And you know poor Hermione has been working so hard on that project Harry! Treat it with respect for her sake at least!" Harry winced. He couldn't remember the last time he'd talked with Hermione, after Ron…it had been too hard to look her in the eye. But he couldn't help but want to stick up for her, the Weasley's had adopted her but treated her with a certain amount of pity that he knew she resented. It was always 'poor Hermione' this or that as though the word 'poor' had replaced her first name and Hermione had turned into her last name.

"Ah so the prodigal son returns." A soft voice said from behind him. Harry turned and smiled faintly at George who was smiling faintly at him even as his mother rushed towards him and enveloped him in a hug fussing over him. There was a hollowness there though, the way George was leaning slightly to the left made Harry envision a mirror image leaning towards his left.

"Ello big brother." Harry greeted softly.

"Ello little brother." George said a faint trace of amusement in his darkened eyes as he came around to sit next to him dropping a fond kiss to the top of his head.

"Oi how come he gets smooches?" Charlie said grinning slightly.

"Because I'm cute." Harry said with a grin.

"He has a point Charlie, besides, if I kissed you I might just get kissed back and that's just _wrong_." George said with a slight shudder.

"Oh shut it! You knot the only one that gets smooches from me is Har-bear over here." He said with a wink. Harry blushed brightly.

"Yes but that was Christmas, and there was if I remember correctly an inordinate amount of liquor involved." George said with a sly half-grin. Harry buried his face in his hands and groaned.

"Oi! You saying he wouldn't kiss me if I was sober?" Charlie said a glint in his eyes that warned Harry to stop the conversation.

"Molly do you need any help?" He said standing. Coward.

"Oh no you don't-" Harry gasped as his wrist was captured and yanked drawing him across the table as Charlie proceeded to wipe any thoughts he might have had from his mind. He groaned quietly…it had been so long…

"It's always hot when you do that." George said smugly from where he sat.

"Char-what?! Charles Weasley you let Harry go this instant! Ginny will be here any minute and-"

"Oh I'm here mum." Ginny's voice was like ice water poured over him and Harry gasped jerking back sharply well aware of how flushed he was. "I've been here for a while actually, not that anyone noticed." She said leaning against the door frame her arms crossed her expression frozen. Silence fell over the kitchen and Harry stared at her not knowing what to do or say.

"Awkward…" George said unhelpfully.

"Ginny! Oh sweety I didn't see you there! How's work?" Molly said taking over nervously. Ginny evaded her embrace and slipped into a chair her gaze like ice.

"Thankfully faggot free now that Malfoy's gone." She said with a sneer.

"Ginny!" Molly said aghast. Harry winced.

"Thanks for that by the way _Hart_." She said snidely. Harry winced again. "Heard that neither Malfoy's been seen for a while actually, off licking their wounds somewhere no doubt. Break another marriage Harry? Or did you finally off the old death eater?" Harry glared up at her fully ready to argue for Draco's sake until he caught sight of her eyes. Harry stood abruptly.

"Excuse me." He said quietly before striding out of the room and through the door leading to the garden. He took several deep breaths to calm himself and tried to ignore the sounds of yelling that followed him.

"This was a bad idea." He said aloud as he rubbed his forehead in frustration. Screw Snape- he should leave. "A very bad idea." He repeated with a nod he couldn't deal with that, no, no there probably wasn't even a _that_ to deal with! Ha! What had he been thinking! He started to walk away, to apparate back to his apartment-

A strong arm wound around his waist and pulled him flush against a firm body.

"Oh no you don't, not when I've finally managed to get an appointment with the ever so busy head Auror." Charlie said quietly from behind him.

"I should leave." Harry said persistently.

"Leave now and you'll break mum and dad." Charlie said calmly. Harry stiffened before falling lax he would break them anyway if he was right.

"I really shouldn't have come." He said shaking his head.

"Really Harry? Ducking out cuz' of old bitter Gingin?" Charlie said calmly. Harry let out a ragged breath if only Charlie knew what he'd seen in her eyes. That hatred, that burn the look of someone entirely willing and capable of hurting others.

"What does she want from me?" He begged. "I tried Charlie, I tried for me, for her, for Ron- Merlin did I try! I gave her everything I could but it wasn't enough!" He said slumping forward slightly.

"Oh you did more than that Hart, you gave her nearly all your money after the divorce, suffered through her rants and taunts, forgave her when she cast the Crucio on you- yes I do know about that. You've given her more than your fair share and we all know it. You did the flowers and chocolates, you were as sweet as anything, the perfect dream man, but Hart you can't change that women aren't right for you and you can't run every time she cuts into you." Charlie said resting his chin on Harry's shoulder. Harry sighed softly it was so wrong that this felt so right. "Come back Harry; come back to us- to me." Harry's breath caught in his throat and he felt his throat grow dry. How was he supposed to say no when the man's kiss lingered on his lips? When Charlie insistently returned to him determined to love him no matter what.

"Charlie…" He turned intending to reject him again, intending to push him away again, but Charlie's lips caught his before he could even breathe right. Hot, silken, skilled forming against his sweetly and slowly opening him like it or not and matter-of-factly, coaxing him. Harry forgot how to say no, forgot why he _should_ say no, and in the end he couldn't say no. Not when Charlie had always fascinated him, not when Charlie had been there to hold him when Draco couldn't he gasped softly when Charlie bit his lower lip a spike of electricity rushing through him.

"I won't let go Harry Potter." He whispered quietly against his mouth kissing away his rebuttals. "Tuesday at six I will be in your office." He whispered turning Harry around easily. "I will cause havoc if you aren't ready to go." He whispered brushing their lips together gently.

"Charlie…" It hurt Harry to do to say, but he wasn't wiling to hurt Charlie, wasn't willing to make the man suffer because he was twisted enough to love a man who couldn't even remember what he looked like.

"Hush, we'll have Chinese." Charlie said softly. "And I'll make love to you the way you should be made love to." He whispered. "And I'll not let go Harry, even if you think you love someone else, by the end of it I'll make certain that mine is the only name you can remember and only because you've screamed it so many times that you couldn't possibly forget it." Charlie demanded. Harry shivered as large hands settled on his hips and pulled him closer. Harry whimpered at the answering hardness.

"I don't want to hurt you Charlie." He whispered.

"I don't give a damn." Charlie said easily a smile curling across his lips.

"But Ginny-" Charlie kissed him again.

"-has no authority over who you love Harry." Charlie said forcefully.

"Draco-"

"Is a spoilt prat who cares more about his public face than about the man who left his wife for him, Harry I'm taking you to dinner, like it or not." Charlie said smiling slightly his gold eyes filled with amusement. Harry couldn't stand to look at them any more, he leaned forward and buried his face into the broad chest happy only when firm arms were surrounding him.

"You're too good for me Charlie." Harry whispered sadly.

"Why don't you let me worry about that hmm?" Charlie said smiling as he pressed a kiss to the top of his head. Harry smiled slightly.

"Smug bastard aren't you?" Harry teased lightly.

"Hush now love you know you like me smug." Charlie said tightening his hold briefly before pulling away and surveying him with calm happy eyes. "Come inside Potter you've got to meet my parents." He said with a wink. Harry let out a startled laugh before nodding slowly.

"Promise to protect me from your evil sister?" He said softly his heart jerking a bit at the possible truth of those words. Charlie puffed his chest out.

"Consider yourself protected Hart." Charlie said valiantly.

"Tch, masochist." Harry said shaking his head idly as he pulled away.

"Sadist actually, but you'll find out about that later." Charlie said with a wink as he held out his arm expectantly. Harry snorted but grabbed hold of it anyway.

"You'd better not let any of my men see this; they'll never respect me again." He said leaning into the arm.

"Never!" Charlie said before opening the door and gesturing him in. Harry took a deep breath before stepping back into the warmth of the burrow. Ginny was sitting silently her eyes ablaze as she glared at him before darting away, but Harry was distracted immediately by the newest addition to the table.

"Mione!" He said happily. He hadn't realized how much he missed her, or how much he'd lost her. She was too thin, a mere slip of the woman she had once been her eyes were tired and wounded when they landed on him.

"Oh Harry!" She said meeting him half way and sinking into his arms. "Merlin but I've missed you Harry." She whispered brokenly. Harry frowned at how small she seemed then, he'd assumed that she was doing better, that she would do better without him. But apparently she wasn't, she was barely hanging on.

"What happened Mione?" He whispered as he pulled away. She trembled as she looked at him and shook her head.

"Nothing Harry, I'm fine I'm just…tired. Very, very tired." She said resting against him.

"Nothing my arse! When's the last time you ate?" He demanded pulling away sharply. Hermione's lower lip wobbled and she shook her head.

"It doesn't matter Harry, as long as you're here." She said shaking her head. Harry then had a frightening thought. Had _he_ done this to her? He turned his gaze to Molly who simply shook her head and dabbed her eyes lightly. Harry held her tighter still unsurprised when she began to tremble falling apart even as he held her. He noticed vaguely when Ginny let out an annoyed sound and strode from the room and felt anger towards her perhaps for the first time before brushing it away and returning his attention to Hermione who he recognized was just barely keeping it together. Harry sighed deeply.

Sunday dinner huh?

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Harry helped Hermione through the floo and halted at the sight that met him. Daphne Malfoy- nee Greengrass had a bloodied Draco Malfoy at wand point. Harry snorted.

"Told you she'd be pissed." He said as he lifted Hermione's bags. She was ill, very ill though he had yet to know the cause of it. He would get to the bottom of it though it was just a matter of time.

"Hello Potter." The lady said with a lift of her chin.

"Harry damn it do something, you're the bloody head Auror!" Draco hissed. Harry glanced at him and shook his head idly. He couldn't believe that Draco was still here, all they did was snipe at each other, all they were capable of was hurting eachother.

"Section 3321-679 In the event of altercations between pureblood family or spouse Aurors are required to do nothing unless the altercation becomes fatal. Daphne, try not to kill him." He said with a nod at her before guiding Hermione around the two. Draco stared up at him in part betrayal and part understanding.

"Of course not Potter." She said with a tilt of her head in his direction. She could care less that Draco was less than loyal to her, she _did_ care that rumors had begun to spread.

"You-you traitor!" Draco cried out behind him though it was a weak effort and they both knew it.

"You were the one that trapped her inside the wards Draco, wards that _you_ were supposed to be in when they went up might I add." Harry said blandly. He was tired of hurting; he was tired of being jealous of what Draco had with his wife. A glance in the direction of the small bump growing in her middle was all it took to keep his resolve firm. The thought of what lay in his own future kept him from fighting for what they had, he needed Draco to be safe, and safe was as far away from him as possible.

"I had to see _you_!" Draco hissed. Harry halted in front of the door and turned to Draco his eyes calm and cold.

"You chose your wife Draco, I'm tired of your pussyfooting around. I loved you but we both know that it won't work so I'm going to be the one to end it and I'm sorry Draco." He said quietly his voice becoming rough. "I'm truly sorry." He said raggedly. "But it's over, it's been over since the day I arrested your father." He said brokenly. He couldn't…he just couldn't, not if what he saw today- he all but flinched away from the memory. Draco stared at him for a moment his gray eyes brimming with tears and a sort of knowledge and relief that made Harry's heart squeeze.

"You're right Hart, it's over, it's been over for a while now, long before my father though, I had my chance with you but _I_ blew it. I thought I could have a wife and have you even when you told me it wouldn't work that way I just wish…I wish things could have been different." He said quietly as tears fell from his eyes. Harry hesitated his hand on the door knob his heart aching.

"Me too." He said softly. "Me too." He said before pushing the door open and inviting Hermione into her new room. "But they can't." He whispered.

That night Draco took his things and left. He went to his family, to his wife, to the riches and the opulence that he was used to and Harry sat by the fire with Hermione healing a friendship that had been left open and stagnant for too long. They talked of war, of school, of memories, they laughed and cried together and fell asleep as they once had in the Gryffindor common room at Hogwarts.

Until the alarms began to sound and Harry's peace was shattered.

#$% #$% #$% #$%

Charlie was there in the Auror's department at six that teusday, Harry however was not. If Charlie hadn't been to Harry's office before he would have believed that it was usually in as much disarray as it was at the moment. Maps on every wall pins with tags, on the desk file after file strewn about in as organized a manner Harry could probably have managed. Charlie settled in with a sigh knowing that it was quite possible that he and Harry wouldn't get their date considering all the raids he was dealing with. At the very least though he could probably convince the little bugger to eat and sleep a few hours even if there was very little romancing about it. Charlie smiled as he slipped around the desk and noted the picture on the very corner of the desk, a family portrait taking so very long ago…they all looked so happy…

With a mischievous smirk he decided to snoop around a bit, to learn more about the man he'd fallen quite hard over. He hoped that he would find a few secret vices, perhaps Harry secretly enjoyed chocolate? He sniggered at the thought before breaking through the wards on the desk and rifling through them. Aha! Just as he's suspected there was a rather large bag of sweets in one of the drawers behind several files- good sweets too, the expensive kind. He sneered then realizing that they were ones that Malfoy must have bought for Harry. With a lift of his chin he tugged the bag free and dropped the candy into the trash can-

His eyes caught on a familiar shock of red hair, the very edge of a photo sticking up from the depths of a manila folder. With a frown he pulled it out and flipped it open.

His face paled as the blood rushed out of it and his eyes widened.

No.

It just wasn't- No! NO!

He quick stashed the file back into the depths of the drawer and closed it re-warding the entire desk as he stumbled back away from it. There had to be some sort of mistake…

But then he looked, really _looked_ at the images of the people strewn across Harry's desk.

They looked disturbingly familiar.

He shook his head and backed away, backed out of the normally neat office, he nearly ran for the lifts. It all fit…it all made sense. He forgot about his date, forgot about what he wanted, all he could think about was that photograph and what it meant and what it would mean, for him, for them, for all of them.

A breathless sob escaped him.

Oh Merlin poor Harry…

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"Good grief Potter sit down before you fall down." Snape said almost the moment he walked into the church. Harry sighed softly and fell into a chair leaning his head back for a moment. The most recent dark lord had been attacking randomly and without mercy for two weeks now meaning that Harry hadn't gotten more than a few hours of sleep at a time. "I take it this has something to do with the latest terrorist attacks?" Snape said handing him a cup of tea. Harry accepted it gratefully and nodded relaxing as he sipped his tea.

"The things I saw this week would turn any man's stomach sour." Harry admitted shaking his head slowly.

"Yet you came here instead of going home and getting some well deserved rest?" Snape said pointedly. Harry smiled slightly.

"I came to see the children, to remind myself just why I fight, and to see you of course." He said cheekily. Snape snorted.

"No doubt, seeing an ugly old priest is the highlight of your week, Potter I'd get that thick scull of yours checked out." Snape said with a huff. Harry smiled wanly and stared into the tea cup in his hands. That week had been rough, everywhere he turned he'd see another dead body- bodies that looked too familiar to be coincidence. Bodies that looked like Draco or Charlie or Hermione or Molly.

"I could just be paranoid." Harry said quietly. "But it was as if they were targeting me." He croaked. "Mass murders, but the worst of them were people that looked like my family." He whispered.

"Potter, perhaps you should take a break from this." Snape said calmly. Harry shook his head.

"I can't." He whispered. "This is all I know, all I've ever known." He said shaking his head.

"Then maybe it's time to learn something new." Snape said quietly. Harry shook his head.

"You don't understand, maybe if you could remember you would, maybe if you were my Snape but you aren't-"

"_Your_ Snape mister Potter?" Snape said stiffly. Harry shuddered and curled into himself.

"Not like that, we were never like that." He said softly.

"Potter I'm not blind." Snape said suddenly. Harry froze his heart thudding in his chest. "To mourn for someone is perfectly normal; to rejoice when one finds that the person they thought dead is in fact alive is normal. You obsess over me Potter." Snape said his tone clipped.

"I'm chasing ghosts, it doesn't matter." Harry said defensively.

"Are you Potter? Or are you secretly hoping-" Snape didn't get the chance to finish that thought.

What happened next happened in slow motion to Harry. He was aware a split second before it happened of the magical surge in the air and before Snape could even think to finish his sentence Harry was lunging covering the thin body with his own just before the explosion rocketed through the air. The walls of the church imploded and Harry let out a cry as something crashed into his side but he couldn't bother with a shield for himself, not when he knew that his children were in the other room. He sent all of his magic towards that room praying that they remain safe. The moment it was over he was moving his hand going to his emergency locator and calling for backup while his other arm bodily scooped Snape up and his legs moved on their own accord. He moved to the room where he knew the children had their lessons and pushed Snape in checking them all with his eyes for a split second before turning his gaze to the nun.

"Don't let them out of this room, not a single one of them do you hear me?" He gasped.

"Mister Potter you're bleeding!" She said a hand over her mouth.

"Not a single one Anna!" He barked. She whimpered and shrank back but nodded. "You will be safe as long as you stay in this room but do not leave not for a moment." He warned before striding back out of the room and closing the door behind him. He took a deep breath and began chanting placing the strongest wards he knew of over the room. He could hear yelling outside, screams, the smell of curses so dark that they changed the way the very air felt but he ignored it all until he'd poured all that he could into the wards and leaned against the wall tiredly. Harry smiled tiredly as he heard the voice he'd expected to hear casting the most horrifying of curses. He didn't need to see the dark lord, because somehow in the back of his mind he had known who it was, he was just unwilling to believe it.

"Potter let me out blast you!" Snape demanded on the other side of the door. Harry let out a broken laugh.

"Sorry Snape, but I can't, because you were right, I secretly hoped, secretly, even when I knew that the one I loved was dead. But I'm alive, and I have a job to do. I have to save the day or die trying." He said before climbing to his feet. "Don't be afraid children, no matter what I won't let anyone touch this room." He said loudly before turning and walking away.

"POTTER! POTTER!" Harry could hear Snape hollering at him, pounding on the door, but it wouldn't come open until Harry was sure it was safe. He walked through the rubble a tired broken man who knew what he was about to face.

Several things had hinted to him that this dark lord was not the average dark lord. First was the ability to evade him, he'd thought from the start that he might have a leak, one of his men had turned but he'd scanned all their minds, there was nothing.

But there were little signs.

A look that lasted too long and raised his hackles.

Missing paperwork.

Little things, that became big things when his subconscious mind told him the truth but his heart wouldn't let him believe it. After all, who did he know owed Lucius Malfoy of all people a life debt? And who knew about his liaisons with Draco which had been kept completely private save for the few that knew him well enough.

And then there was Hermione.

The one person whose mind he _wouldn't_ look into no matter what.

Only, he did.

To make sure that she wasn't considering suicide, to prevent her from doing something foolish.

Only it wasn't suicide that she had on her mind, torture, the slowly building kind that happened over the span of several years. But he couldn't believe it, not until he'd seen it with his own eyes. That look, that glimmer of pure darkness that hid within every dark lord's gaze. He'd defeated so many dark lords that he knew immediately how to spot that look.

He just didn't expect to find that the dark lord was in fact a dark Lady.

One that had seen inside the mind of the most brilliant dark lord Harry had ever defeated, one that knew him well- knew him oh so very well.

"Ginny." He said quietly as he stepped out into the battle. A hush fell that was deafening and Harry hid a shiver as the darkly clad figure turned slowly to him.

"Figured me out then huh Harry?" She said dropping the hood from her head. Harry felt his heart turn to stone. He'd never needed to see her face. This was the woman he'd loved, had shared a life with, hopes and dreams, had done everything in his capability to please even when it meant that he didn't enjoy himself at all.

"Why?" Merlin he sounded like a wounded animal.

"You never gave me the time of day after the divorce Harry; you just gave me money to shut me up." She said a sneer on her lips. "I loved you Harry, I love you still, but then you were with _Malfoy_ for fucks sake could you have insulted me further? And then you killed Ron- oh I know everyone says he sacrificed himself but Ron was only there because _you_ were! And you didn't _care_ you didn't bloody well CARE! You just disappeared! Stopped coming to visit, wouldn't even look at me- as if ten years of our lives together meant _nothing_ to you! You cared about work though, so I did the only thing I could think of to get your bloody attention!" She hissed before letting loose a curse. The Aurors collectively took a step back as Harry batted the curse away with his hand. He rarely if ever left his wand where it was and when it did it meant he was serious.

"Ginny you're ill, maybe some of the influence from Voldemort was left inside of you-" It was a pathetic attempt at hope and he knew it even as she cackled at him.

"No Harry, _I_ did it. Not Voldemort, and not any of the other baddies you're in love with, _I_ Ginerva Weasley. I killed, maimed, tortured and destroyed just so that you would fucking LOOK AT ME!" She roared. Harry felt suddenly empty as though everything had been taken out of him in that moment.

"Mister Potter!" Harry's head jerked up as wide blue eyes met his and a small girlish figure ran towards him. He saw Ginny's wand lift and a horrible sinking feeling filled him even as he threw himself in front of the green curse.

"ADAVRA KEDAVRA!" Ginny's voice seemed to come after the curse, Harry could swear he felt it hit before the words left her mouth. He stared at her in horror as she stared at him in shock. "No…NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Ginny screamed stumbling forward. Harry gurgled. He felt hot and then cold he shivered and burned for several long moments before falling to his knees still blocking the child behind him.

"Celia?" He whispered as the curse wracked through his frame painfully. Most people died from it, but not him, he never did. The little girl let out a whimper before winding her arms around his neck.

"I was in the potty and there was a light an-and-and!" She burst into tears clinging to him as he wrapped an arm around her. He winced as he slowly rose tucking the small head of hair under his chin even as his determination filled him. Ginny had fallen her eyes wide and pained.

"You would have been such a good father Harry, we could have been great together can't you see?" She whispered. Harry was cold though and for the first time he took out the one wand he'd sworn never to use.

"You wanted my attention Ginny." He said dangerously. "Well now you have it." He said quietly. "On behalf of the Ministry of Magic you are under arrest." He said coldly before summoning her wand from her hand and binding her. He was done with her, done with ignoring what sat right in front of him.

"Harry- Harry you can't do this-! Look at her Harry! We could adopt her! She looks like us she could be ours Harry! HARRY!" But Harry was already turning around and walking down the small slope. Cilia safely cradled in his arms. He was frozen inside, nothing could melt him now, not when she'd tried to kill one of his children.

"Take her in, round up who you can for questioning." He bit out. "Oh, and tell the Minister I quit." He added for good measure. He climbed back through the rubble and hushed Celia calming her with soft words and petting her hair gently until he reached the one room that was still standing and slowly began to lower the wards. He knew he was about to collapse but he wouldn't even think of it until Celia was safe. As he opened the doors he could hear soft whimpering and fifty wide eyes looked up at him in fear and terror.

"Oh praise the lord mister Potter!" Anna said from where she was crouched down beside Snape. Harry felt his heart sink as he saw the man white a sheet twitching on the ground. "He collapsed! I don't know what happened! We could hear a woman screaming and then he just fell over and-" She sobbed helplessly and Harry reached into his pocket pressing his wand to the small dial that called for the field mediwizards and then another that would call his family. Harry grasped the large wooden table and used the last of his energy to transform it into a portkey.

"Everyone grab hold really tightly okay?" He instructed. The children nodded appearing terrified and did as they were told. Anna glanced at him questioningly and he shook his head. "Just don't let go, I'll take care of Snape." He said firmly. Anna nodded and reluctantly grabbed hold of the table. "Home." Harry said activating the portkey. Briefly he saw their looks of surprise before they disappeared in a whirl probably landing terrified in the bright green of the burrow where their hungry stomachs would be filled until they could eat no more. Molly would have a hay day with this.

"Potter…you're bleeding." Snape's strangled voice caught his attention. Dark eyes were staring up at him in agony, there was so much pain there that it made Harry want to weep.

"I'm sorry Snape…it looks as though I've turned your world topsy turvy again haven't I?" He whispered tears rolling down his cheeks. Snape was silent for a moment save the labored breathing.

"Ginny…your ex-wife I presume?" Severus said after several moments. Harry let out choked laughter.

"Brilliant wasn't she?" He said quietly.

"Only _you_ would marry a woman capable of becoming a dark lord." Snape said wearily. Harry let out a broken laugh and carefully began to slid his fingers through Snape's hair.

"Potter?" Snape said frowning.

"How long?" Harry asked tiredly. "How long have you remembered who I am?" He whispered tiredly.

"What gave me away?" Snape said with raised brows.

"You stopped asking me to tell you what happened and…and you didn't look as happy any more." He said softly.

"I'd been remembering bits and pieces for a while though I wasn't about to let Lucius Malfoy of all people know that. I didn't remember you though, not until you walked through the doors and looked at me." He said resting his eyes. Harry could hear the yells from beyond the walls, could feel magic as the area was being cleansed of any lingering dark magic.

"My mothers' eyes." He said softly, sadly.

"No in fact, that's what struck me, was that they were no longer her eyes. Her eyes had never looked so weary and broken. They were yours Potter and they had only gotten older since the last time I saw you." Harry nodded slowly.

"You're different though." Harry said softly.

"I am. I spent the majority of the last ten years war free and surrounded by innocence." He said softly.

"Until I came." Harry whispered knowingly.

"You always did seem to bring chaos with you no matter where you went or what you did." Snape said smiling thinly. Harry leaned his head back against the wall and felt tears slide down his cheeks.

"You won't have to worry about that again Snape." He whispered his hand falling lax and slipping to the ground beside him. Snape was silent for a moment.

"Why did you send the children away Potter?" Snape said quietly.

"I didn't want to stain their innocence any further than I already have." Harry said tiredly.

"Their innocence Potter?" Snape said cracking an eye open. The single dark eye widened as it looked up at him and Harry found the strength to smile faintly. "You're dying." He whispered. Harry smiled and coughed lightly ignoring the red that spilled from his mouth as he did so.

"I took the killing curse for Celia." Harry said faintly. "I took the explosion for you." He whispered. "And I've exhausted my magic to save the world. My magic can't heal me any more." He said shaking his head slowly. "Charlie will be furious." He whispered. "I never did go on that date with him." He said smiling faintly. "I stood him up." He managed.

"You didn't bring food with you when you came earlier- you always bring food." Severus frowned. "You know this would happen." He added. Harry nodded.

"I kicked Draco out, stood Charlie up, visited my family for the last time before exposing their daughter as a dark lady, and came here to die- they'll hate me when they figure it all out." He said roughly.

"They won't be able to figure out if you are a hero or a villain." Severus said with a tired snort. Harry let out a wet chuckle.

"I'm neither, just another martyr." Harry said tiredly. "They'll forget about me soon, they'll have more important things to worry about…" He trailed of dizzily and his head tilted forward as black spots danced across his eyes.

"What do you mean?" Snape asked distantly. He could feel Snape sitting up. "Potter?" Harry blinked slowly as the familiar voice echoed in his mind. "Potter!" Snape cried out. Harry met dark eyes and felt for a moment as though they were the only thing in the world. His hand reached up of it's own violation and cupped the pale cheek. Freedom had done Snape well.

"Look at me…" He whispered remembering those words as the words that had haunted him so.

"Potter-Potter you colossal idiot I've been looking at _you_ all along!" Snape cried out but Harry felt his vision fade away. He'd just wanted to die in these arms. He'd sent the world away, everyone, so that he could die here in peace. To be free from it all, all his sins, all his pains- free.

#$% #$% #$% #$%

A speck, just the smallest dot of black scurried across the walls of the hospital unnoticed, it scurried and climbed, scurried and climbed, slid down the threads of its silk and scurried again. Through air vents, through walls and pipes alike until he scurried, scurried out of the hospital and in an instant became a man, shadowed by the wall. With a crack he apparated unnoticed by all. He strode through the chaos of the ministry, unnoticed by all and found a shadowy corner to change in again before scurry, scurrying through pipes and walls and vents. Eventually he came upon his destination and sliding down on his silk landed in a graceful human kneel.

"He is in a healing coma my lord." The man said bowing his head.

"I thought for certain he would die this time." The figure said smirking slightly. The sound of a book snapping shut filled the room and the kneeling figure flinched slightly. "And what of Ginny?"

"Sentenced to receive the Dementors kiss." The figure said carefully.

"Hmm, poor girl gave herself away didn't she? She had such _vigor_ for her work. Though I must say she made Potter an interesting study. For a moment I thought his sheer stubbornness would keep him from accepting what she was doing. I thought that he might actually turn a blind eye to her actions." The dark lord said smiling thinly.

"If he wakes, do you intend to recruit him?" the figure asked.

"Of course not. Potter's broken now, he'll be even worse off when he wakes and finds her dead."

"She wasn't his most precious though." The figure said with a frown.

"Oh I know _that_, I didn't want it to be personal, saying 'my ex-wife was capable of becoming a dark lady' is one thing, the death of someone he loves on a deeper level- well, that's what killed the last few dark lords isn't it?" The dark lord said with a thin smile.

"I suppose so my lord." The man said a half smirk of his own.

"Very good." The dark lord said in clear dismissal cracking open the book cradled in pale hands.

"My lord." The man said bowing deeply before shifting and scurrying backup the nearly invisible thread. The man hummed as the sounds of several clocks chimed and whirred as the hour changed.

"Hickory dickory dock, the hero fell from the clock, his time was short but how he talked! Hickory dickory dock…sleep well Harry Potter, destroyer of lives." The dark lord hummed idly.

Deep in the bowls of the hospital Harry Potter shivered in his coma startling friends and family alike into hope and then despair. A shadow whose face was tortured to see Charlie Weasley, young, handsome and so very in love with the young man in the bed, slipped his wand into his cloak with a tired sigh.

"Are you sure this is what you want Severus?" Arthur asked in a whisper. He looked older than Severus could ever remember seeing him an his ever present half-smile was missing.

"He will never be happy if he remembers me. I've done a more horrible thing than I could imagine in dying, I won't do it again, but I'm little more than a squib and the children need taking care of." Severus said with a sigh.

"He'll notice, you can't erase the most important person in your life without noticing that something is wrong." He said softly, almost as though he knew.

"Tell him that he asked that certain information was erased from him, to protect the wizarding world, but only if he asks. If that doesn't work tell him that only the person who obliviated him could tell him why they did so. If he wants to come find me I won't stop him, but I want him to have a chance at happiness." He said quietly.

"You are a great man Severus, Harry was always saying so." Arthur said softly. "I just never knew _how_ great." He said smiling a thin smile and patting him on the back. Severus watched the man return to his broken family and his eyes strayed to the man lying on the bed.

"Am I truly? Oh Arthur if you only knew." He said drinking in the sight of the man who he knew would come to haunt his dreams for years to come. Shakily he pulled a small vial that seemed to glow as he held it up and gazed at it. "You will never die Harry Potter, not if I have any say in it." He whispered caressing the vial with a trembling thumb before snatching the vial back into his pocket and turning sharply. He strode away from Harry Potter for what he believed would be the very last time.

-fin-

**As I mentioned earlier, my writing a second part to this will depend on how many people liked it, even if you feel like you have little else to say, send me a review that says 'I liked it' and I will be happy, I just want to see if I should continue this story or move my attention to other stories.**

**Mistress Slytherin**


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